Never quit.

When I was 7 years old, I wanted to be the first man on Mars. I wanted to ride NASA's X-23 Rocket (that is a real project NASA had) all the way to Mars. I used to dream, as a child, of my boots hitting the surface of our red sister planet. Red dust billowing in the airless atmosphere, the sun reflecting off my helm, and NASA patched through my helmet.

"Commander, do you copy mission control."

"Roger, read you Lima Charlie, mission control, over."

Then the long wait for a reply. 

Even as a child I would imagine that NASA would take minutes to reply because of the long distance between Earth and Mars. While in the midst of these day dreams, I would train myself for the mission. I would imagine that if anything happened on Mars I would at some point be forced to hold my breath, if there was a hull breach. Waiting for the imaginary reply from NASA, I would hold my breath. 

Waiting. Counting the seconds. 

As children we have a sense of hope that is invincible. We create worlds without limits, without "can't's", we live in a world of possibilities. 

As we grow older, life tends to think we can handle more. The more we take on, the more we realize that the odds are forever against us. We won't get rich at the Casino's, the odds are literally against us. We take this underlying lesson and apply it to everything in our lives, without realizing.

I am here to tell you, that even in Casino's the odds are not always against us. Sometimes, just like in casino's there are areas where the odds are in no ones favor. In those sweet spots, even in life we have a chance. We have a chance to come out on top. 

We have a chance to beat the house, and walk away stronger and wiser than before. But I don't want this to sound like you have a chance to beat the house, sticking with the casino analogy. In live there is only one "house" you need to worry about, and that is you. You house all the demons, all the hope, and all the angels. You house all the despair, all the malice, discontent. 

When there are no demons within that can harm you, there is nothing that can harm us outside. 

What makes us quit, quit dreaming, quit fighting, quit screaming into the endless darkness, isn't the world around us. It is our voice within telling us we can go no further. Every time we list all the things we "can't" do, we aren't helping ourselves. We are setting up all the road blocks needed to halt our progression in life. But when we say, "I don't know what to do" well that is something completely different. 

"I don't know what to do", is allowing the possibility of success, all while admitting you need help. 

I have over the last few years slowly, and surely given up saying, "I can't". 

Now instead of listing the things I can not do, I say "I will handle it", or "Let's do this", or "let's find a way to get this done." Failure is not an option, failure is something you either sow, or let grow. When we set it in our minds to never quit, to never give up, failure has no place to plant roots. 

Never give up, never quit. Change isn't automatic. We won't find a cure, today, or tomorrow. Or even next week, if we aren't around to fight for it. PTSD is a call to rise up, and find the strength to carry on. It is a call to break down the walls that shot up without our knowing. I am unable to share my life with anyone for fear of giving them the ammo necessary to destroy me. My walls are up, my guard is vigilant. 

But I will be here tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after, because I can not quit. 

I can never quit. I will stop fighting when the nightmares stop. I will stop when the PTSD stops making me fear everything, every second of the day.

Fight with me, stay with us. Never  give in. Never go silently into the night. Leave this world with all f your dreams and aspirations fulfilled. Leave nothing undone, leave nothing un-invented. Leave no story untold, leave no inch of this world or any other ndiscovered. Make our children, and our children's children take up the same fight. 

If fear breeds fear, then hope, and bravery, and courage in the face of those things must breed something so beautiful that my finite mind can not fathom it. 

Never quit. 

Never lie down.

Never go quietly.