I am nearing 100 posts, and I have been so busy lately that I went back and I tried to see if I could clean up my drafts.
I started with the thought of deleting them, but that quickly disappeared as I reread all the forgotten posts since the beginning of this adventure. I catch myself finding a certain fondness for them, more so than the posts that actually did publish.
Some are like a road map reminding me where I have been, and where I want to go. Some are a reminder of darker times, of times I wish never existed, but if I lived as if they didn't I would have nothing to learn from.
My life has been hard, that is a fact. Sometimes it is just as hard as others, and sometimes it is harder than others. But I do my best to remain hopeful, and I keep one thought in mind.
When others say "You never know, man", What they really mean is "You never know, something bad could happen". Now what I think when I hear that, or say that is: You never know, there could be an adventure around the next corner.
Hope isn't hiding in the things we know. Hope isn't that trust factoid you remember from a book you once read. Hope... Hope is the unknown. Hope lives, and flourishes in the unknown. I love the unknown, because I have nothing to fear there. The known is far scarier that what I don't know. I don't know if I can fly a plane, but I am willing to try. I know I can't fly like Superman, I know I can fall like gravity intended. Falling is way worse than figuring out you aren't born with the ability to fly a plane.
My SO hates it when we leave to do a random chore, or whatever, and I ask her "What tiiiiime is iiiiiiit?". When I ask that, my child like wonder is swelling over, it needs to experience the unknown. I want so badly for her to go "OMG is it ADVENTURE TIME?!" But it usually ends up with "Dear God don't crash my car."
She is not a risk taker, I enjoy a bit of risk. Just to find out where I can go, and how far I can take myself. Because in my mind, Hope is a place I haven't found yet. Hope is hiding in the unknown. I am scare, and frightened of the known. I have seen what the world is like when it is at it's worst. If I have seen the worst, than the best must be in the unknown. Even if more horrors and terrors hide in the unknown, there has to be light there as well.
There has to be good there, hope reminds me of that fact everyday I wake up.
I started with the thought of deleting them, but that quickly disappeared as I reread all the forgotten posts since the beginning of this adventure. I catch myself finding a certain fondness for them, more so than the posts that actually did publish.
Some are like a road map reminding me where I have been, and where I want to go. Some are a reminder of darker times, of times I wish never existed, but if I lived as if they didn't I would have nothing to learn from.
My life has been hard, that is a fact. Sometimes it is just as hard as others, and sometimes it is harder than others. But I do my best to remain hopeful, and I keep one thought in mind.
When others say "You never know, man", What they really mean is "You never know, something bad could happen". Now what I think when I hear that, or say that is: You never know, there could be an adventure around the next corner.
Hope isn't hiding in the things we know. Hope isn't that trust factoid you remember from a book you once read. Hope... Hope is the unknown. Hope lives, and flourishes in the unknown. I love the unknown, because I have nothing to fear there. The known is far scarier that what I don't know. I don't know if I can fly a plane, but I am willing to try. I know I can't fly like Superman, I know I can fall like gravity intended. Falling is way worse than figuring out you aren't born with the ability to fly a plane.
My SO hates it when we leave to do a random chore, or whatever, and I ask her "What tiiiiime is iiiiiiit?". When I ask that, my child like wonder is swelling over, it needs to experience the unknown. I want so badly for her to go "OMG is it ADVENTURE TIME?!" But it usually ends up with "Dear God don't crash my car."
She is not a risk taker, I enjoy a bit of risk. Just to find out where I can go, and how far I can take myself. Because in my mind, Hope is a place I haven't found yet. Hope is hiding in the unknown. I am scare, and frightened of the known. I have seen what the world is like when it is at it's worst. If I have seen the worst, than the best must be in the unknown. Even if more horrors and terrors hide in the unknown, there has to be light there as well.
There has to be good there, hope reminds me of that fact everyday I wake up.
No comments :
Post a Comment