I have had two types of reviews on this blog from people who I have spoken with, one being positive. The other was not negative at all, but constructive.
I am going to talk about the second review first, because it is important to me. The second one stands alone, and still bugs me to this day. In a good way mind you, but still it nags at me. I remember the words "Your blog is a muddled rambling, with a message at the end".
Now I'll be the first to admit that those may, in fact, be the wrong words used by the person. I may have embellished the words to be kinder, and more romantic than they actually were. But the meaning is there. And it is loud and clear.
My blog is a bit of rambling, but with a message at the end.
And that is amazing!
That is exactly what it is like in my head. All the time, day and night, awake or a sleep. I used to watch movies that took place in "crazy houses" where actors portrayed a mentally ill person, and they would hit their head over and over again. I never understood that, but there are times now, that I get it. I understand having so much buzzing around in your head that you lose yourself, and the only thing that makes it stop is a good whack to the dome.
That does not mean that I am mentally ill, or admit to being mentally unsound. It means I get having a head full of nightmares, fears, voices of doubt, anger, and all around mental noise. So for that person to say that this blog is "rambling with a message", that means a lot to me. Because it means that even when I am at my worst and I am losing it, I am able to try and show someone what it is like to live with PTSD.
I don't know if it means I am healing, or I am just living. But for me to find the ability to cut through the noise and show someone who has never what it takes to receive PTSD, what it is like inside the mind of some who does. That is a small victory, in my book.
Now about that message part of the review, that means even more to me. Because not only am I able to convey what it is like inside the torrent mind of PTSD, I am able to cut through all that noise and show them, you, anyone, that there is still a human being inside me. There is still a clear, and level headed, responsible person inside. I am able to find that voice, and use it to yell louder than all the demons, I am able to share my world with those who can relate, AND THOSE WHO CAN NOT.
If that isn't a shining ray of hope, I don't know what is.
So for now, I think I'll keep on living with PTSD, and doing my best to shout through all the walls.
I am going to talk about the second review first, because it is important to me. The second one stands alone, and still bugs me to this day. In a good way mind you, but still it nags at me. I remember the words "Your blog is a muddled rambling, with a message at the end".
Now I'll be the first to admit that those may, in fact, be the wrong words used by the person. I may have embellished the words to be kinder, and more romantic than they actually were. But the meaning is there. And it is loud and clear.
My blog is a bit of rambling, but with a message at the end.
And that is amazing!
That is exactly what it is like in my head. All the time, day and night, awake or a sleep. I used to watch movies that took place in "crazy houses" where actors portrayed a mentally ill person, and they would hit their head over and over again. I never understood that, but there are times now, that I get it. I understand having so much buzzing around in your head that you lose yourself, and the only thing that makes it stop is a good whack to the dome.
That does not mean that I am mentally ill, or admit to being mentally unsound. It means I get having a head full of nightmares, fears, voices of doubt, anger, and all around mental noise. So for that person to say that this blog is "rambling with a message", that means a lot to me. Because it means that even when I am at my worst and I am losing it, I am able to try and show someone what it is like to live with PTSD.
I don't know if it means I am healing, or I am just living. But for me to find the ability to cut through the noise and show someone who has never what it takes to receive PTSD, what it is like inside the mind of some who does. That is a small victory, in my book.
Now about that message part of the review, that means even more to me. Because not only am I able to convey what it is like inside the torrent mind of PTSD, I am able to cut through all that noise and show them, you, anyone, that there is still a human being inside me. There is still a clear, and level headed, responsible person inside. I am able to find that voice, and use it to yell louder than all the demons, I am able to share my world with those who can relate, AND THOSE WHO CAN NOT.
If that isn't a shining ray of hope, I don't know what is.
So for now, I think I'll keep on living with PTSD, and doing my best to shout through all the walls.
Most conversations can be perceived as "rambling" if someone come in halfway through. :) I think of your blog as a conversation: I'm listening as you tell me what's on your mind.
ReplyDeleteAs for the "message" at the end? Like you, I'd rather leave folks with words of encouragement than rant and rave on and on. Keep it up...you're doing fine and making sense to me. :)
Thank you, that is helpful, and kind. Been a busy weeks so I am back to talking and sharing what's on my mind.
ReplyDelete