First off, this started as a comment, and quickly evolved into this post.
I hate the cold, seriously I hate it. I wear sweaters in the summer, I take hot showers when I have sun burns, and I wear sweats to bed no matter the season. I hate the cold.
But I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable things either. I am not a stick my toes in, and then ease in kind of person. I flick my toes in the cold water, yes. But then I jump in and deal with the icy waters head on. Literally, and figuratively I dive in head first.
After the post yesterday, I stood on my porch (again staring at my shop), and I thought to myself:
Why am I afraid of a location that has no connection to my nightmares?
Why can't I go inside?
So I turned around, I grabbed my dog, and my keys and I left. I had an idea, and I had to get supplies. I am slowly coming around to the idea that if life tears you down, or breaks you down it isn't to destroy you.
I am coming around to the idea that if life does all that, it isn't "down" we are headed, but "back". Every time life takes you, and pulls you back your resilience is being stretched, sometimes to the max. But when life stops pulling you back, and lets go, your resilience snaps back and you go flying forward, like a sling shot.
Well, I was taken back by life, I was allowed to think that an empty wooden box was something to fear. So instead of walking back into my shop and carrying on as if nothing happened, and slowly dealing with my problems, I left.
But I didn't run.
I took the dog, and my car to neighboring cities looking for something. I went looking for supplies, and I made a challenge to myself. I had to find something somewhat rare, and make it into something someone said they wanted, but surly forgot about. So for two hours I pulled myself back, I stretched my resilience to the point that I kept telling my dog, we were "done for the day, we tried". I had given up, and then life pulled me a little further.
Someone ended up just giving me hat I had spent all day looking for. What I was willing to pay money for. A construction worker, just handed me a huge cable reel. Everyone else was either out of them, or wouldn't even talk to me. Then a random guy handed me one.
I came home, and took everything back to my shop, and started working. My bench is almost done, and except for a few minor episodes, and a night of terrible sleep, I didn't explode, or swing on anyone.
In fact I am headed out there as soon as I post this, thanks to all of you for your words of kindness and support. I'll have to update this later with pix.
I hate the cold, seriously I hate it. I wear sweaters in the summer, I take hot showers when I have sun burns, and I wear sweats to bed no matter the season. I hate the cold.
But I am not one to shy away from uncomfortable things either. I am not a stick my toes in, and then ease in kind of person. I flick my toes in the cold water, yes. But then I jump in and deal with the icy waters head on. Literally, and figuratively I dive in head first.
After the post yesterday, I stood on my porch (again staring at my shop), and I thought to myself:
Why am I afraid of a location that has no connection to my nightmares?
Why can't I go inside?
So I turned around, I grabbed my dog, and my keys and I left. I had an idea, and I had to get supplies. I am slowly coming around to the idea that if life tears you down, or breaks you down it isn't to destroy you.
I am coming around to the idea that if life does all that, it isn't "down" we are headed, but "back". Every time life takes you, and pulls you back your resilience is being stretched, sometimes to the max. But when life stops pulling you back, and lets go, your resilience snaps back and you go flying forward, like a sling shot.
Well, I was taken back by life, I was allowed to think that an empty wooden box was something to fear. So instead of walking back into my shop and carrying on as if nothing happened, and slowly dealing with my problems, I left.
But I didn't run.
I took the dog, and my car to neighboring cities looking for something. I went looking for supplies, and I made a challenge to myself. I had to find something somewhat rare, and make it into something someone said they wanted, but surly forgot about. So for two hours I pulled myself back, I stretched my resilience to the point that I kept telling my dog, we were "done for the day, we tried". I had given up, and then life pulled me a little further.
Someone ended up just giving me hat I had spent all day looking for. What I was willing to pay money for. A construction worker, just handed me a huge cable reel. Everyone else was either out of them, or wouldn't even talk to me. Then a random guy handed me one.
I came home, and took everything back to my shop, and started working. My bench is almost done, and except for a few minor episodes, and a night of terrible sleep, I didn't explode, or swing on anyone.
In fact I am headed out there as soon as I post this, thanks to all of you for your words of kindness and support. I'll have to update this later with pix.
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