When one battle begins, another ends

In 2012, I lived in southern San Diego County. I lived with a woman, who at the time was my partner. It was pretty serious, we even began talks of having children together. I was in college, finishing up my degree, and she worked full time.

As it would happen she got pregnant 4 times.

And lost them all, late late late term. We lost four children. It seemed as if the day we named them, was the day we lost them. Again and again our hearts broke.

Through this all I stayed hopeful, on the outside. Inside I was a storm of emotion, and torment. I had to remain strong because I could not imagine the pain and sadness that anyone could reach feeling their own children die inside of them.

I took time off from school, to take her to appointments, and even some days to just lay in bed with her. I would handle the needs of her daughter while she sank deeper into depression. I maintained, as I was falling apart. I had to drop out of a couple classes, and even take a semester off.

The school eventually decided that school was more important the deaths of my children. And made it mandatory that I show up or get kicked out. Then the VA charged me 12,000$ for the missed classes, all this while I was barely holding on to my sanity.

For the last 3 years I have fought the VA, and the school over this. My defense was simple: I had hardships in my life, and I was never paid 12,000$. The money was paid to the school, I shouldn't have to pay it back. Common sense, right? I thought so. The VA and the school didn't.

So for the last 3 years I have been paying that money back, and fighting the VA.

Today I received a call from the school. They wanted an updated address.

"Why do you need my address?"

"Well it turns out you over paid, back in 2012, for classes you were forced to drop out of due to hardships."

"Yes, I remember. I also remember your school refusing to pay back the money you took."

"Well sir, I am the new VA financial rep. the last one is no longer at this school, and I am following up on all the claims that were overlooked. Did you want to update your address?"

So after 3 years a new player entered the game, and closed a chapter in my life I wanted past me, so I could move on. It was never about the money, it was about the indigent disrespect I was shown, and the school did what they could to apologize without admitting fault to the situation.

I'll say I reached a stalemate in this battle, but anytime you didn't lose, that's a victory in my book. I didn't get ANYWHERE near what I paid the VA, not a quarter of it. But it is the principle of the matter. They admitted that I was forced to drop those classes, and was not at fault. That is a victory in anyone's book.

That horrible time in my life is passed me now. I can look forward to the next battle and gain understanding from the past. I no longer have to fight on that front any more.

I will always love my children, I will always miss them. Alive or dead they will always be in my heart. To all of my sons, I love and miss you. Always.