Thanks to a frequent commenter (Hope) I was reminded of the phrase "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". I used to rely on this phrase a lot, I thought the problems I was having would go away. And I was lied to.
Problems don't just go away. PTSD doesn't just go away. PTSD is not a temporary problem. This does not mean that suicide is the answer. This means that we need to change our thinking. PTSD is a very real, very long road. Will you or I have it for the rest of our lives? I don't know, and I can't say.
The phrase "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", is flawed fundamentally. I can no longer endorse this phrase. Or this way of thinking.
First off, the "Suicide is a permanent solution", that is a phrase we should never have allowed to be printed. No matter how you paint it, suicide is not a solution. For your problems or anyone else's. Suicide may not hurt the person committing it. They may slip into the icy grip of death alone, and painlessly. But the wake that is left behind their passing, that is a torrent of pain and anguish that spreads like a tear-soaked wildfire. Suicide causes pain, more pain than anyone is feeling right now. Never think of it as a solution. It only creates more issues and more problems.
Second, the "to a temporary problem" part, is a bit misleading. Any demons, or pain we struggle with are temporary. But a problem? I don't think so. Problems rarely ever get solved. They get patched up and covered up more than anything. A challenge? I think that word is far more fitting. Everything we suffer through in life tests us, molds us, creates us. Even the darkness makes us stronger. So my PTSD is not a temporary problem. My PTSD is a challenge waiting for me to gain the strength to overcome it. My PTSD may be with me for life, but it is not a problem. It is my emotional, psychological trainer. It makes me stronger, and I will grow because of it. I will defeat it.
Third, the ease with which we accept this phrase as a whole. It is candy coated, easy to swallow and tastes sweet upon our tongues. When I was at my lowest, my darkest, my deepest pits of self-loathing hatred, a permanent solutions is all I sought. It's what I needed. I still need a permanent solution. But, suicide is not that or any other solution.
Three times I have tried to kill myself. Three times I sought that promised permanent solution. And three times I failed. No, not failed. I won that battle. Not alone. Never alone. My dad has saved my life three times. He doesn't know that, he only knows of one. The last time, the time I came the closest.
My dad, just being himself has taught me this lesson. Suicide is NEVER a solution, for the challenges of life. So I propose we never use that phrase again. We can never allow suicide to be a solution again. Alone we fail, together we win. Together we can conquer any challenge life has in store for us. If you or anyone you know is even toying with the idea of suicide as a solution, get help.
Problems don't just go away. PTSD doesn't just go away. PTSD is not a temporary problem. This does not mean that suicide is the answer. This means that we need to change our thinking. PTSD is a very real, very long road. Will you or I have it for the rest of our lives? I don't know, and I can't say.
The phrase "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem", is flawed fundamentally. I can no longer endorse this phrase. Or this way of thinking.
First off, the "Suicide is a permanent solution", that is a phrase we should never have allowed to be printed. No matter how you paint it, suicide is not a solution. For your problems or anyone else's. Suicide may not hurt the person committing it. They may slip into the icy grip of death alone, and painlessly. But the wake that is left behind their passing, that is a torrent of pain and anguish that spreads like a tear-soaked wildfire. Suicide causes pain, more pain than anyone is feeling right now. Never think of it as a solution. It only creates more issues and more problems.
Second, the "to a temporary problem" part, is a bit misleading. Any demons, or pain we struggle with are temporary. But a problem? I don't think so. Problems rarely ever get solved. They get patched up and covered up more than anything. A challenge? I think that word is far more fitting. Everything we suffer through in life tests us, molds us, creates us. Even the darkness makes us stronger. So my PTSD is not a temporary problem. My PTSD is a challenge waiting for me to gain the strength to overcome it. My PTSD may be with me for life, but it is not a problem. It is my emotional, psychological trainer. It makes me stronger, and I will grow because of it. I will defeat it.
Third, the ease with which we accept this phrase as a whole. It is candy coated, easy to swallow and tastes sweet upon our tongues. When I was at my lowest, my darkest, my deepest pits of self-loathing hatred, a permanent solutions is all I sought. It's what I needed. I still need a permanent solution. But, suicide is not that or any other solution.
Three times I have tried to kill myself. Three times I sought that promised permanent solution. And three times I failed. No, not failed. I won that battle. Not alone. Never alone. My dad has saved my life three times. He doesn't know that, he only knows of one. The last time, the time I came the closest.
My dad, just being himself has taught me this lesson. Suicide is NEVER a solution, for the challenges of life. So I propose we never use that phrase again. We can never allow suicide to be a solution again. Alone we fail, together we win. Together we can conquer any challenge life has in store for us. If you or anyone you know is even toying with the idea of suicide as a solution, get help.
That's the thing about dialogue: we show each other the flip side of the coin. I'd always thought of that phrase as hope filled, "Today's bad but hey, tomorrow can be better. Keep going."
ReplyDeleteI had not, however, thought of it's application when it comes to PTSD. You made me think. That's always a good thing. :)
I feel the same way. It dawned on me a while ago that that statement may not be as helpful as people think. I think it overplays suicide and undervalues the issues we all face.
ReplyDeleteAs a whole, I do not think depression, PTSD or any other mental disorder is a temporary problem. I think if we are just patching up that hole in our sails with medication we aren't fixing the issues. Which makes them permanent problems in the long run.